What To Do When There's Nothing You Can Do
Sometimes, there are things that just don't make sense. They seem wrong by every definition of the world. They feel like hell on earth, like a nightmare that just won't seem to end, like complete and total rock bottom.
They're confusing. They're painful. Gut-wrenching and sickening and heart-breaking and horrible.
And when these awful, no-good, very bad things happen to somebody that isn't you, you feel utterly helpless. You feel useless.
You feel like no words will ever heal, no hug will ever comfort, no gift will ever be enough, nothing will make any of this better in any way, because these are the worst things, and I am so small, and nothing is enough.
What do you do when nothing is enough?
What do you do when the hurt is too big?
What do you do when it's all falling apart for someone you love?
This week, what I've learned is simple and still doesn't feel satisfactory, but it is something:
You show up.
You sit next to the friend as they cry, and you stay there for as long as it takes. You rub her back and you hold her hand and you hand her tissues and you let there be silence and you talk when she asks you a question and you whisper prayers over her and you stay by her side. You pour another glass of wine and you sit in the mess and the hurt and you stay. You bring another blanket and you show up with vodka or chocolate or flowers or junk food and you stay.
You show up, and you stay.
There will never be words that will heal deep hurts. There will never be a wine that will erase the pain forever. There will never be a touch that can ease the pain.
There is only presence, and there is only prayer, and there is only peace that comes from the One who is above it all.
Show up and stay for someone today.