I Thought I Hadn't Found My People Yet, But There They Were


I’ve been complaining for a while that I haven’t found my people yet.

I have this picture in my head of what I think it means to have “your people,” and my life doesn’t match that picture. To me, it looks like a solid group of girlfriends, ongoing group texts, weekly dinners out around town, living rooms full of friends cuddled up on couches watching reality shows together, tight-knit Bible study groups that meet weekly, vacationing and road-tripping together… And that’s just not my reality. So I’ve been complaining that I haven’t found my people yet.

I showed up at church on a recent Sunday morning when I wasn’t really feeling like I wanted to be there. (When you feel like you haven’t found your people, the last thing you want to do is go be around people.) I sat by myself, in the fifth row like always, and just as the service started, a dear friend slid in next to me. We started catching up as soon as the service ended, and she quickly suggested brunch so we could keep chatting. We saw another friend in the hallway as we were leaving, and invited her along as well.

As the three of us sat on a sunny patio and caught up, I updated them both on my life. I mentioned feeling disconnected from people at church. I mentioned friends at work. I talked about how our company had gone through some changes, and how my team had grown closer in the process. I processed through what I was desiring in community at church, what I felt like I wasn’t finding there.

And my friend stopped me as I started to complain once again about how I hadn’t found my people yet. “What about the friends at work you just mentioned?” she asked kindly. “Maybe they’re your people.”

It was such a simple yet powerful realization.

Because there I was, sharing conversation and brunch with two dear friends, talking about a whole group of other close friends from work, and somehow feeling like I didn’t have real friends.

The thing is, I have found my people. They just look a little different than I had expected...

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