I'm totally copying Vogue with this "73 Questions" idea, and stealing this list from a blogger friend, because it's just fun to share ALL THE RANDOM THINGS.
When I think back to being a child, following the leader often meant holding their hand as they led me. There were times I willingly slipped my little fingers into theirs and there were times I fought back and resisted and their hand felt like it was suffocating mine. There were times I lingered or got distracted and times my feet would drag and kick. Those were the times where their hand would hold mine a little tighter and gently tug me forward. There were times I skipped along happily and danced around gleefully and their hand swung in mine in simple bliss. There were times I darted ahead and out into danger and their hand yanked me back into safety.
In all of those times, the hand holding mine was the hand of someone who knew better, who had a higher and clearer perspective of the world than I did at my little level, who loved me and wanted above all else to protect me from the risks and dangers all around.
Following my heavenly Father is a lot like following my parents as a child. My perspective of my world is so small. I don't know the dangers that lie ahead, I don't know the best or safest path to follow. I don't know how to blaze my own trail in this world I know so little of, this world that's so much bigger than me.
I want to follow my Leader with the trusting faith of a child. I want to slip my hand into His and joyfully skip along behind Him as He sets the path before me. I want to trust that when He pulls me back, it's because something was ahead of me that would have hurt me and His actions were to keep me safe. I want to believe that when He leads me in ways I didn't expect or didn't want, it's because those are the ways that lead to life.
My hands are small in comparison to the hands of my Creator. I try to hold all the pieces of my life together in my two hands, and things are constantly slipping through my fingers. My hands weren't designed to keep it all together. I can't keep all the plates spinning, can't hold all the ones I love close to me, can't fix all that's broken, heal all that's hurt and solve all the problems.
My hands weren't meant to hold my life together, my hands were meant to hold my Father's. My hands were designed to slip perfectly into His as I follow where He leads. I can't do that if my hands are trying to hold all of my life together.
When I let those things go, free my hands of the heavy load, my hands can hold His so I can follow the Leader.
Remember when you were a little kid and you saw a high schooler, or even a fifth grader? They seemed so cool, so sophisticated, so untouchable. And then when you became that extremely hip and knowledgeable 11-year-old, remember feeling like kindergartners were such babies?
I would love to look at my life now and think that I’ve really got it going on, that I have things figured out and I’m super secure about it, but in reality, I feel a lot like that little kindergarten kid surrounded in a crowd of people so much more grown up than me.
I’m just 21 years old. I graduated from college a year early, catapulting myself into the real world totally on my own, leaving all my friends back at school, just trying not to crash and burn when I finally landed. I felt like I was all of a sudden in the real world, like I was supposed to be that grown up, real adult, but I still felt like just a kid.
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